Redefining Masculinity: Beyond Strength and Control
A real man does not devalue others; he gives importance to people while setting and safeguarding his own boundaries
ZEESHAN RASOOL KHAN Masculinity is a character associated with males, and it often continues to hold value in society, especially in relationships. A man with a masculine physique is not the only thing that impresses; his masculine character must also be visible. But what does masculine character actually mean? Its meaning may differ for different people. For some, masculinity means biceps, triceps, and a macho body structure. Some restrict it to clothes, while for others it means having a sense of adventure. Others, at times, go further and associate it with anger, dominance, subduing others, and creating fear—even within their own homes and surroundings. Talking roughly, walking with arrogance, disdaining others, not valuing elders, and acting indecently are also, in some cases, seen as signs of masculinity. Yet such definitions do not always hold. Strength alone has never been the only measure of masculinity. Similarly, women today often work, lead, explore, and excel in many fields without losing their femininity. This suggests that masculinity is not necessarily
rooted in attire, physical power, or outward display. Rather, masculinity operates at a deeper emotional and psychological level. It is not about overpowering others, but about mastering oneself. Dominating others, controlling relationships, or creating fear is not strength; it may, at times, reflect insecurity presented as power. Real strength lies in balance, composure, and the ability to remain grounded even in moments of conflict. Masculinity is not controlling others—their thoughts, their ideas, or silencing their voice. It is the patience to listen, the strength to understand, and the depth of heart to respect despite differences. Within a family, this form of masculinity often becomes most visible. A man listens. He does not dismiss his spouse; rather, he faces criticism—even when expressed with intensity—without attempting to silence it. He reflects and tries to distinguish between momentary emotion and genuine concern. He may face financial pressures, yet he strives to meet the needs of his family with responsibility. While many men may choose not to fully express their struggles, true
strength also lies in knowing when to share, seek support, and remain emotionally present. Strength is not only in silent suffering, but also in carrying responsibility without losing emotional balance. A real man does not devalue others; he gives importance to people while setting and safeguarding his own boundaries. He participates in society and often contributes toward positive change. He cares about his community and, at times, goes the extra mile to improve it—without causing harm or humiliation to others. At the same time, healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, where understanding and responsibility are shared. Masculinity, then, is not about trampling others, but about valuing them while standing firm in one’s own dignity. It is often quiet strength, not loud dominance; presence, not pressure. And in a world that sometimes confuses control with power, true masculinity may be seen not in how many voices one can silence, but in how many one can truly hear. (The Author is a Tutor and Aspiring Writer. Feedback at: mohdzeeshan605@gmail.com)
Leave a comment