Blaming women

Published at November 10, 2017 12:11 AM 0Comment(s)3210views

Dr Qayum Hamid Changal

An earthquake or a bomb blast, flood or a dry spell, we are the experts in reaching to some conclusion. Being a Muslim, of course I believe that whatever bad befalls us, it is because of our own misdeeds. No doubt, trials as well as punishment is from Allah.

Allah mentions in Surah Al-Nisa 4:79, “Whatever of good reaches you, is from Allah, but whatever of evil befalls you, is from yourself…”. It simply means the punishment is from Allah because of our sins, of both men and women, young and old.

But, unfortunately whenever any calamity befalls upon us, many of the men point their fingers towards the womenfolk. Agreed, where women are wrong, they are wrong. That does not mean we men are the angels, totally flawless. We too are equally responsible for the mess.

Allah mentions in Surah Al-Nahl 16:97: “Whoever works righteousness — whether male or female — while he (or she) is a true believer (of Islamic Monotheism) verily, to him/her We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (that is Paradise in the Hereafter).”

When Allah does not differentiate, who are we to decide?

If we men look at ourselves, we are the champions when it comes to committing the sin. Are we treating our womenfolk as per Qur’an and Prophetic Sunnah? Are we humane enough to be good towards those whom we blame at the first place? As a father-in-law, don’t we discriminate between our daughter and our daughter-in-law? Aren’t both the same sexes? Isn’t that a grave sin?

Are we the good husbands? The burden of dowry we put over the shoulder of our wives is literally lethal, many of them end up committing suicide or other extreme steps. Why don’t we look at ourselves?

Surah Al-Nisa 4:34 proclaims, “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means.”

Do we really follow these commandments of Qur’an? Many of us don’t. Yet we end up finding the faults in our women.

Exactly when the college or school time ends in the afternoon, especially female only institutions, it is the part of our male community who is roaming around these institutes and troubling our female folk. Is it allowed in Islam?

Islam honours women immensely. And, when we trouble them, we wage a war against Islam. Don't we? Why not first of all point the fingers at ourselves?

Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “I urge you to treat women well.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 331; Muslim, 1468.

We, the men, too are embedded in the grave sins. And, I’m talking of Kashmir only. Look around yourself, peep within yourselves. Consuming alcohol day-by-day is becoming so common. Let's see what Qur'an says about those who consume alcohol.

In Surah Al-Maa’idah 5:90, it is mentioned: “O you who believe! Intoxicants (all kinds of alcoholic drinks), and gambling, and Al-Ansaab, and Al-Azlaam (arrows for seeking luck or decision) are an abomination of Shaytaan’s (Satan’s) handiwork. So avoid (strictly all) that (abomination) in order that you may be successful.”

Allah has cursed the drinker of alcohol. In Sunan Abi Dawood (3189) it is narrated that Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has cursed alcohol, the one who drinks it, the one who pours it, the one who sells it, the one who buys it, the one squeezes (the grapes, etc), the one for whom it is squeezed, the one who carries it and the one to whom it is carried.” (Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani as stated in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 2/700).

And, what we find is we have one greater chunk of population busy in drinking and gambling. Very rarely we point the fingers at these sinners who have literally destroyed our society. No! Why should we? Let’s extensively be male chauvinists and blame women for anything and everything evil.

In offices we take bribe. If not all but most of us are corrupt. Any form of corruption is unacceptable.

Bribery is a major sin, because of the report narrated by Ahmad (6791) and Abu Dawood (3580) from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) cursed the one who gives a bribe and the one who takes it. Classedas saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel (2621).

But then we don't care. Any calamity, let's put the whole blame on the women of town.

We abuse one another. Without looking for the evidence and witness, we men too are the champions in blaming others. The best example these days could be found on the social networking sites.

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “It is enough sin for a man to speak of everything that he hears.” Al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 2025.

The list is long and endless. Like many women, men too are involved in extramarital affairs, fornication and other evils. But we see only the female part of it only because she’s a female, though both are the sinners. Why this disgraceful discrimination?

Men and women both, whoever commits a sin is a sinner. And, Allah accepts the repentance of both the sexes. Next time if a calamity befalls upon us, let's first of all peep into ourselves. Charity begins at home and change begins within.

As it is mentioned in Surah Al-Rad 13:11, “Verily, Allaah will not change the condition of a people as long as they do not change their state themselves”.

May Allah guide us all, both men and women, to the righteous path. Aameen.




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